


The Best Cure for Hiccups

by Penthesilea1623



Category: Dragon Age
Genre: F/M, Humor
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-10-25
Updated: 2012-10-25
Packaged: 2017-11-17 00:46:52
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 915
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/545663
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Penthesilea1623/pseuds/Penthesilea1623
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>F/Hawke get the hiccups at an inopportune moment.  Her companions offer suggestions for a cure.  A short piece from a larger story that's currently under construction. Bioware owns all and I thank them everyday for sharing.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Best Cure for Hiccups

“You can’t even pretend to be interesting, can you?”  Varric says to Sebastian in frustration, and stalks off in search of better fodder for his stories.

Has he really gotten so dull, Sebastian wonders?  So predictable?  It shouldn’t bother him. 

But it does.

They are discussing their strategy for ambushing the group of bandits they’ve stumbled across on the Wounded Coast when Hawke hiccups.  Not a dainty little “hic”, but one of those embarrassingly loud hiccups that is almost painful in its intensity.

“Sorry.” Hawke mumbles and tries to continue. “Sebastian, if you move to this point here, then Isabela and I can sneak in on both...” her plans are interrupted by another hiccup even louder than the first.  “Crap!” she mutters and promptly hiccups again.

“Try holding your breath and count to twenty.” suggests Aveline.

“That never works.” says Hawke, but she tries it anyway. 

It doesn’t work.

“Perhaps if you drank something?”  says Sebastian.  She tries it and ends up almost choking when she hiccups in the middle of swallowing.

“Here.  Put your thumbs in your ears, and hold your nose closed with your index fingers, and swallow ten times.”  She does as Varric instructs, removes her fingers from her ears and nose, and promptly hiccups again. 

“Was that even a thing?”  she asks glaring at the dwarf.

He shrugs.  “I don’t know.  But you looked pretty hilarious doing it.”  Hawke can’t help laughing, which is, of course, interrupted by a hiccup. She groans in frustration.

“I think we’re just going to have to wait them out.” says Aveline. 

They sit in silence, interrupted by fairly regular hiccups (and curses) from Hawke.  Isabela wanders off and tries to sneak up behind Hawke, hoping to startle her.  Just as she is about to pounce, Hawke, without even looking behind her, comments, “You know it’s difficult to startle a good rogue, Isabela.”

“Dammit, Hawke.” says Isabela.  “I know if we could just surprise you, we could get rid of them.”

“Easier said than done.” Says Hawke with a proud smirk, which is wiped off her face with the next hiccup.

“The Keeper used to make us stand on our heads and sing _The Tale of Iloren _in double time.” Suggests Merrill helpfully.__

“Did that work?” asks Hawke.

“Well, no.” Merrill looks crestfallen. 

“Isabela” says Hawke with another hiccup.  “Go see what the bandits are doing.” 

Isabela returns shortly, unsuccessfully trying again to sneak up on Hawke on her return. “I thought I had you that time.  Bad news though.  They seem to be packing up. There’s no way we can handle a group that size without the element of surprise.”

Hawke hiccups again. “Sod it!” She throws her daggers into the sand in frustration.

Sebastian watches her thinking she’s adorable when she has tantrums. She’s adorable when she does almost anything.  Even pouting the way she is now merely calls attention to her lush mouth.

 

_If we could just surprise you we could get rid of them._

_You can’t even pretend to be interesting, can you?_

 

“Right.” he says, and rising to his feet, he carefully places his bow on the sand and stalks over to Hawke, pulling her roughly into his arms

“What are you… mmmf.” Her protest is cut off as he covers her mouth with his own.  Her hands immediately grab at him to steady herself, and find the edge of his fur trimmed collar.  The feel of his mouth on hers is doing all sorts of strange things to her.  His lips are firm and warm, and when they part just a little as he kisses her she can’t help but brush her tongue against them.  He doesn’t make a sound when she does, but his hands tighten on her waist and one slips up into her hair to hold her firmly in place as his tongue answers hers.  _Maker, the taste of him. _Just as abruptly as he began the kiss, he suddenly pulls back, making sure she is steady on her feet before he releases her.__

“Well?” he asks expectantly, and she would think he was completely unaffected by what just happened if it weren’t for the fact that the difference in their heights gives her a perfect view of the thundering pulse at his throat.

She stares at him in confusion. “Well?”  she repeats dumbly. And then she realizes.  The hiccups. 

“What just happened here?” asks Aveline, in her best guard captain voice. 

Hawke holds up her hand to silence her.  She keeps it there a moment, and then a smile slowly spreads across her face.  She gives Sebastian an admiring look.  “Thank you.”

His blue eyes twinkle.  “You’re more than welcome, Hawke.”

The rest of the companions look confused. 

“I’m with Aveline.” Complains Isabela.  “What was that?”

Hawke flashes her a grin.  “They’re gone.  The hiccups.”

“That’s all it took?  Some masterful kissing?  I could have done that ages ago.”  Isabela protests.

Aveline snorts.  “It would hardly have been a surprise if you’d done it.”  She gives Sebastian a look as if she is revising her opinion of him.  “Well done, Prince.”

He gives her a small bow. He glances at Varric.

The dwarf gives him a small nod of approval. “Interesting.”

“Well.”  Says Hawke, leaning down to retrieve her daggers.  “Let’s get to it then.” And strides off, trying to ignore the throbbing warmth between her thighs. 

The bandits are easily routed.

Isabela spends most of the trip back to Kirkwall pretending to have the hiccups.

 


End file.
